Teaching Respect And Values In Today's Society
The girl's jaw dropped in horror as the police officer spokethese words:"Don't go there. Have you any idea how many kids have beenstabbed in the past year? They'll kill you as soon as lookat you. They have no respect for life."The mother breathed a sigh of relief. She had come in toschool to seek my help, as I was her daughter's GuidanceCounsellor. We needed to convince the girl that the placesshe was frequenting were putting her very life in danger.Fortunately a police officer was in school that day to speakto a Social Education class - and I got him to sit in on theinterview.So where was the young girl going that put her life in suchperil? What underground haunts were enticing her?None other than an area of the city where two school friendslived. But as you may guess, it was an area rife with drugabuse and its attendant crimes. Many people there had lostrespect both for themselves and for life in general.So how do we teach respect and values in a society that'srapidly becoming valueless?Believe it or not, it's relatively easy!All we have to do is go back to basics. Remember whatGrandma used to say? - "Do unto others as you would havethem do unto you".This might sound a bit 'corny' or 'naff' in today's world,but if ever a saying deserved to be revitalised and repeatedagain and again, this is it! Today our kids need to learn RESPECT for themselves; forother people; for other people's rights, customs and validbeliefs; for property; for materials; and for the earthitself.The more people who do this, the more we will have acounter-balance to the uncaring and disrespectful trends wesee all around.Yes, that's all very well, but HOW do we do it?In two ways - and as I said, it's easy!First and foremost MODEL the values and respect you wishyour children to develop.That's it. SHOW them by your own lifestyle. You don't evenneed to articulate these values - but as we'll see later,discussing them and commenting on them can make an evenbigger impact.Many successful parents are neither educated nor articulate,and they say very little. They let their actions speaklouder than words.There's nothing new in this. To use an old-fashioned phrase,these parents give a good example. (Some of
today'spsychologists think they've come up with a new approach whenthey talk about 'modelling appropriate behaviour patterns'.Yes . . !)To be fair, many parents I talk to are unaware of thepotential they have to influence their kids. It comes as asurprise to many to learn that THEY are the mostinfluential teachers their kids will ever have.Our children are like sponges. They soak up our attitudes,our habits, our speech patterns - our way of seeing theworld.So if YOU show respect for yourself, for others, forproperty and for the earth, you won't go wrong.But you can enhance or reinforce this process by instructingyour kids.Without lecturing or 'sermonising' we can give guidelinesfor everyday activities. For example:* leave the bathroom as you'd like to find it* use resources like water carefully* consider others by playing music softly or by usingheadphones* give a helping hand in the classroom, in the playground,at home* treat others with kindness, gentleness, care andsympathy* look after yourself in the same way.When bad or undesirable behaviour is modelled on TV orelsewhere, comment on it and discuss why we wouldn't dothat.In a multi-cultural and multi-ethnic society, let's help ourkids to tolerate, appreciate and even celebrate differences.Help them realise we all have different customs and habits,and there are pros as well as cons in these differences.Help your child to be assertive. There's no need to beaggressive or offensive when defending our values. We shouldassert them proudly and courageously, and we should avoid apassive denial when others are mocking.Lastly, there's self-control. If you give a good example -sorry, if you 'model appropriate behaviour'! - AND teachyour kids why it is important, then you and your family canface the future with confidence.Happy parenting!
Frank McGinty's writes motivational books for both parents and teenagers. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, AND
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