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Emotional Responses to Breast Cancer - Understanding the One
You Love
Being diagnosed with breast cancer is a life-changing event. A
torrent of feelings wash over the survivor. Suddenly, the world
feels like an unsafe place. Little things seem unimportant to the
survivor. And the big things, like life, seem tenuous. Knowing the
emotional responses she is experiencing will help friends, family
and fellow survivors support and nurture her, and each other. She
needs to be encouraged to fully feel and express each of her
feelings.
The most helpful thing you can do is "just stand there" while
she goes through the range of emotions. Often we try to "fix" or
stop the flow of feelings so we don't experience the pain and
discomfort. But transformation and healing occur when feelings are
felt and honored, not when they are repressed or denied.
Here are some emotions you might witness:
1. Shock and Disbelief
"There must be some mistake. It can't be happening to me! I'm
healthy. I take care of myself!" Disbelief is one of the most
prevalent first emotional responses.
2. Overwhelm
Breast cancer survivors are faced with many critical decisions.
Often there is a time pressure to make treatment decisions. It
helps to have support with research about traditional, alternative
and complementary treatment options.
3. Fear
"Am I going to die? Will I be disfigured? Will you still love
me? Will I love myself?" These are the major questions hovering in
the dark recesses of the survivor's mind. It helps tremendously to
bring them up for discussion.
4. Worry
"How sick will I be? Who will take care of the children? How
will I deal with loss of income? Will I lose my job?" Once the
first wave of personal survival questions are dealt with, these
questions wear on the survivor's mind.
5. Anger
"Why me? I don't deserve this! I don't have time or money to
deal with this!" Anger, if not expressed, is the most insidious of
all emotions. In itself, repressed anger can create disease. Having
a healthy outlet for these feelings needs to be part of the breast
cancer patient's treatment program.
6. Resentment
" I'm not the one this should be happening to! I eat well,
exercise, get mammograms, take vitamins! Why should I have to
suffer with this disease!" Often there is no logical explanation
for the onset of cancer. It's natural that feelings of resentment
may arise.
7. Loneliness
"No one ever is here for me. I'm all alone. I have no friends I
can count on. I feel so alone!" Even when family and friends are
around to help, often survivors feel isolated and alone. They are
unable to ask for the help they want and need.
8. Sadness
Sadness prevails when any loss is imminent. Tears may flow
profusely as the loss of precious body parts is contemplated. The
thought of further illness from chemo treatments may seem
unbearable. She needs gentle comfort and frequent reassurance.
9. Misunderstood
She may feel that nobody is listening or really understands her.
In actuality, no one else can really understand what she is going
through. Every person's experience is unique. Honor her and her
uniqueness. Give her space to express her feelings and
thoughts.
10. Hopefulness
Seen as a learning opportunity, the breast cancer experience
could create a feeling of hope for an entirely new and different
life, one filled with passion, fulfillment, joy and love. Knowing
that life is ongoing, and only the body dies, can give great
comfort during this otherwise stressful time.
Copyright 2005 Dr. Talia Miller - The Breast Cancer Recovery
Coach
Dr. Talia Miller, sought after breast cancer coach, author and
trainer is a long-term breast cancer thriver. Her passion is to
coach breast Cancer survivors so they can THRIVE! Contact her at
t@BreastCancerCoach.com, or
visit her website to arrange for a complimentary consultation.
She is the founding director of the Breast Cancer Support
Center, a 501c3 non-profit specializing in utilizing the
body-mind-spirit connection, and the outstanding healing program,
"From Survivor to Thriver ─ The Breakthrough Program for
Beating Breast Cancer?". The Center offers free educational
seminars by PHONE on prevention and avoiding recurrence. Email
Director@BreastCancerSupportCenter.org
to register. Also available, personal retreats in Grass Valley, CA
to help survivors become thrivers.
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