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Victorious
There it is again. I muttered to myself, frustrated as I washed
my arm. Every morning for five or six days in the fall of 2003, I
noticed this rust-colored sticky stuff that appeared in both drips
and smears on my left forearm and thigh. I had no idea where it
could be coming from.
Finally, on Sunday morning I found the answer. My eyes followed
my hand as I wiped the steam from the bathroom mirror. Looking past
my fingertips, there it was. To my shock and horror, the
rust-colored sticky stuff easily dripped from my left nipple.
In disbelief, I collapsed into my bedroom chair, swirling with a
mix of grief and fear. I stared at the blank white wall, feeling
vacant, distant, disconnected from what I had just seen in the
mirror. All I heard was that loud, penetrating silence that
surrounds and encompasses every thought and movement.
I called my doctor and was told that this was not an emergency
room issue, but did need immediate attention. It could be cancer or
another of many health challenges. Then, I began to wonder, what
now? What is next?
After an exam, the breast cancer specialist made an appointment
for that same afternoon to have both a mammogram and an ultrasound.
They took two sets of two x rays on each breast and a third x ray
of a specific area of my right breast. I realized I could have two
areas of concern, not just the one.
Next, was the ultrasound. I could see the area of my breast
where they had done the extra mammogram. There was a dark mass
which had a very different pattern than the rest of my breast.
After the biopsy, I was diagnosed with infiltrating ductile
carcinoma, a rare, aggressive, deadly cancer that can quickly
metastasize to the bones and lungs. Next is death. I had symptoms
of both bone and lung cancer.
The ultrasound of my left breast showed a trail of little beads.
Masses unevenly lined up from my underarm to my nipple. This could
not be good, I thought. These masses were rubbing against several
ducts, causing bleeding and discharge. That was the rust-colored
sticky stuff. My left breast was diagnosed with a rare hyperplastic
disease involving multiple ducts. My oncologist felt that I also
had cancer in this breast. She was deeply concerned, and wanted to
immediately remove the mass in my right breast and cut off 1/3 or
more of my left breast. From now on, on medical history forms, I
would check the box for cancer.
Even before these diagnoses, I had already decided that I did
not want surgery. In my heart, I really did not believe I would
live through a surgery, much less the chemotherapy or radiation. I
preferred an alternative approach. I did have my health insurance
to pay for most medical expenses, but it did not cover alternative
therapies. Also, I had previous long term health challenges. I
wanted a fix, not just a partial solution. I chose Mye Cell
treatments in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico and worked with Dr. Melenie
Dunn, NMD in Scottsdale, AZ. Her number is 480.556.6700. I am now
cancer-free.
I have the confirmed belief that each of lifes moments hold a
purpose and a gift. There are no accidents. Nothing is random.
Lifes lessons come hand in hand with their opportunities. I do not
always remember to live by these beliefs, but I do always come back
to them. I knew that this particular lesson was about trust. It was
about my ability to trust. It was about my confidence in myself. My
confidence in God. The lesson was about realizing, knowing with
every breath and every beat of my heart, that I Am Blessed. We All
Are.
Doreene Clement, a cancer victor and author of The 5 Year
Journal, is currently writing a new book, Blessed, about her life
and her cancer experience.
For more information:
http://www.the5yearjournal.com
480.423.8095
Copyright 2005 OMDC, LLC All Rights Reserved
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